Emotional highs & lows throughout the last week. I'm barely hanging in there but I am trying.
One of the contests I wanted to do just fell through, by the time I wanted to sincere try & work on it; I decided to back out & work on it properly & do it justice so it shall become more of a casual fun practice to do more comic illustration stuff. What was it? Well - basically the contest was suppose to contain the whole idea or word of 'love' & involving my Audition Online couple. So, instead of directly involving him, it would have been a narration that did involve love & insert my Audi Online couple; but it was the whole idea of love & the word love of a long time companion; a friend ... yes a teddy bear. I didn't wanna rush the story when I realize how many days I had left & with all the obstacles of being sick, then a little bit of a drawing burn out, I let things remain where it would be. The last contest I will try is another love theme but we'll see how that will work out in the end & if I even bother to submit it.
Valentine's Day did pass & I did get some coloring & drawing done on livestream, it ultimately ended up being the only thing I really did this week which is fine, I'm happy with how things turned out & one of the pieces got featured on the company fb website as a valentine's day message which is cool. As for the day itself, I did manage to make the best of it & did something cool for that day.
As for the emotional lows, I shall try not to vent too much but i guess perhaps it needs to be said to clear my mind. As my year long task to attempt to prove my situation moves forward, the more I stay in this house with roommates makes me realize how I yearn, want & would like to move on, move out & be able to live on my own once again. When little things I do or try to do get overlooked due to other bigger problems or annoyance tend to overshadow what is expected of me while I live here & I've done what is expected or asked of but apparently; like many things, it feels like parents all over again - it's never good enough. Oh the hilarity & irony behind it.
Oh, I did mention briefly I had a mini burn out from drawing; mainly after the heavy hours of drawing, coloring & putting time in with these contests I somehow subconsciously wore myself out. So, as my friend suggested, I took a step back, breathe, did some other things & I'm slowly getting back into it & trying to fulfill some of these contests deadlines before I go back to working on these pending requests...note to self; I should really get back on those notes too.
I had found some resolve for some warnings I got which I find reasonable & at the very least I got some resolve, I'm content yet not due to some thoughts I have over the matter, but at least it means I can move forward from the warnings I got.
New friendships are formed & I have warned that I do tend to take things slow, so seeing how this new friendship that is formed & see how this person has been willing to be open & share when I am not ready to is flattering, but I do have my reasons; I'd like to see where these new friendships are formed will last a couple of months? or expand to years. I remain optimistic.
Something silly, as much as I do like watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, seeing Twilight Sparkle turn into an alicorn...well a princess, was well, I'm still not quite sure whether I feel for those who think she shouldn't have become one or if this pathway they had planned for Twilight Sparkle all this time was a viable & reasonable path in that greater scheme of this fictional place that has been set for the past few seasons. Either way, something still is unsettling about this past episode that I can't put my finger on...oh well.
I should try to end this on a high note, during the past cpl of months, my cousin who I see as a sister from another mother has been calling weekly, I've been listening to her woes & situations, continue to put in encouraging words & help her with her homesickness since she's away, she left me a text saying how these little things have helped & thanked me...that's a high note right?
Anyways, I shall try to balance everything out & try to maintain some sanity regardless of my on goings around my life.
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