CherBear's Thoughts - End of June 2013

Well its practically near the end of the month.

-----

I feel fairly productive. I've been going through my requests & commissions as much as I can considering July is near the horizon. I feel like there's not so much time but I guess I just need to manage my time a little better. So I guess its time to break down my thoughts.

~

Basically; my dear PieBear- has come back, its nice to see her again & chat. Doesn't necessarily change the ongoings within life itself. Not completely going into it; I feel there's still a bit of resentment in the air. I can completely understand that but looking at the grander scheme of things, I've learned to forgive, move on & let go. Why? I don't wanna wake up one day feeling completely disconnected from familiars. Yet, at the same time, this looming almost funeral like event is approaching & I'm not sure how much of it will either survive after that or will it go back to that standard. I can only wait & see what will happen next. I'd like to realistically want to try & save this generation of familiars but they have to do it willingly before all the fond childhood memories we all shared were just that ... memories.

--

So hopefully, these summer plans will either happen or not. Looking to hopefully go to the County Faire before July 4th, Anime Expo is still up in the air, but the definite plan is San Diego Comic Con. So I gotta start tidying up since I am playing host once again to company. PieBear- still would like to hold a junk food party, beach party & a drinking party all within that same summer? I'm assuming this will all be in July because August one of our other familiars is moving up & out to college so the idea of attempting to spend time with'em would be nice.

~

Speaking of Comic Con, I had that meet up & things are still in the air. At this point I can't convey much but I also realize depending what happens will leave me a bit at a loss? I dunno, I still look forward to it.

-----

What happened to the job search? Well, I'm still searching & moving to other options, but postponing any & all official starting 'til near the end of July. With everything going on & all these prior obligations, it'd be bad on my part while applying to ask for time off. Doesn't change the fact that I'm still diligently working on the commissions & requests.

~

As for the commissions & requests: I've been trying go get through them as much as I can, backtracking on my list, some requests I realize I needed to ask them about an issue over their request. So for those who do read this & have a request or commission; check your notes - if I left one for you of course. Once my list is completely finished; I would like to take on more commissions & hopefully grow my portfolio ~ not to mention, finally get started on my larger web comic idea that has been waiting in the wings for like ever.

-----

So this concludes my end of June & what I am looking at with terms of July. I know I'll be busy, but I admit, with that new feature of queuing up artwork, I'm gonna have to buckle down, sort through artwork I haven't posted up yet & queue them up for July cuz I know I will be too busy to even do that. I am planning to livestream sometime today too ~ will be working on the commissions & requests I do have that are not ecchi related. The ones that are ecchi related, I will work on in a different channel obviously & if anyone's interested in that, I'm more than happy to share that link. For now, thank you for this ramble of thoughts. Hope everyone is enjoying their summer.

Journal Meme 3 out of 3 - 40 Fundamental factoids

Taken from greenmonkey15 @ dA --

40 fendamental factoids - these may be secrets, fact or lies, depends how I feel ... sorry I can't comply with the actual rules now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Are you bisexual?

No.

 

2. Where was your facebook profile picture taken?

Audition Online ~

3. What is your middle name?
I have one?

4. Do you have a crush?
I keep saying this before, this idea of 'crush' sounds painful.

5. Does your crush like you back?
Who knows.

6. What is your current mood?
Emotionally stable.

7. What are you looking forward to?

A better financial position?

8. What makes you happy?

That varies.

9. Look at a poster(s) in your room, who's on it?
Anime / video game characters.

10. What are you not looking forward to?

Any unexpected unfortunate circumstances?

11. If you must be an animal for one day, what would you be?
A bear...obviously.

12. Have you ever had a near death experience?
Yes, twice.

13. What was the last phone conversation you had?

My dear PieBear- ~

14. The song stuck in your head?
Leave out all the Rest - Linkin Park

15. What is your desktop background?
Oreimo

16. What are you wearing?

Pants & a shirt?

17. When was the last time you cried?
Yesterday.

18. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?

Sorta?

19. If you could have a super power what would it be?

Foresight.

20. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Their eyes.

21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Depends on my mood honestly - usually a frap tho.

22. What's your biggest secret?

I'm not what you think I am.

23. Who makes you the happiest?
Varies.

24. Who makes you the most depressed?

Varies.

25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
Yes.

26. What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
Water.

 

27. Do you have any siblings? If yes how many?

Technically, no.

 

28. If you could live anywhere in the world where would you live?

That is questionable, only because I do actually like where I live now.

29. If you could describe your life in one word what would it be?
Unpredictable.

30. When was the last time you had a hug?
Yesterday.

31. What do you want most in life?
Financial stability.

32. What/who are you thinking about right now?

Family & relatives.

33. What should you be doing?

Working on my commissions / requests (yea, that's right, I said it.)

 

34. What's your favourite candy?
Milk Chocolate.

35. How often do you laugh?
Depends on the moment.

36. Do you like working in the yard?
Not really.

37. What are you doing this week?

Cleaning up.

38. Do you act differently around your crush/significant other?
Not really.

39. Who was the last person to make you cry?

My Mom.

40. Did you lie at all during this survey?

Who knows.

Journal Meme 2 out of 3 - My 2012 was ...

Taken from  Seoul-Mate @ dA --

In 2012 I...
[ ] Got a new piercing.
[ ] Dyed my hair.
[ ] Ended a relationship.
[ ] Started a new relationship.
[ ] Been on a long car/bus journey.
[ ] Passed an exam.
[ ] Met someone who's now an important part of my life.
[ ] Cried on someone's shoulder.
[ ] Had a massive fight with a boy/girl
[ ] Received flowers.
[ x ] Had a Valentine.
[ ] Written a letter using pen & paper.
[ ] Gone to see a therapist
[ ] Been prescribed medication by a doctor.
[ ] Read a really good book.
[ ] Went to the zoo.
[ x ] Spent too much money on unnecessary things.
[ x ] Cried over a member of the opposite sex. 

[ ] Spent the day out in the sun getting a tan.
[ ] Slammed a door out of frustration.
[ ] Had an anxiety attack.
[ ] Babysat for a friend's child.
[ ] Had a BBQ
[ x ] Went to the fair.
[ ] Went bowling.
[ x ] Seen a film at the cinema in 3D.
[ x ] Went on a date.
[ ] Been the only sober one on a night out.
[ ] Helped someone home after they had been drinking.
[ x ] Stayed up all night.
[ x ] Talked on the phone for over two hours.
[ x ] Supported someone who'd received bad news.
[ x ] Watched some kind of live sporting event.
[ ] Read an entire book in one day.
[ ] Bought a DVD the day it was released.
[ ] Eaten McDonald's more than four times in a single week.
[ ] Cried as a result of exam stress.
[ x ] Met some incredible new people.
[ ] Went to great parties.
[ ] Fallen backwards off a chair. \
[ ] Broke my glasses.
[ ] Wore a watch for the first time in years.
[ x ] Cried over someone in my past.
[ x ] Spent hours aimlessly browsing the internet.
[ x ] Threw up.
[ x ] Cried over a film.
[ ] Gone out of my way to avoid an ex-boy/girlfriend.
[ ] Fought with someone in public.
[ x ] Been in a relationship for a year or longer.
[ ] Cried in front of someone I adore.
[ ] Lost a/some close friends.

Another ordinary year I guess?

Journal Meme 1 out of 3 - I am ...

Taken from -- YumiDinosaur on dA:

~VAMPIRE~

[ x ]You rather be pale than tan.
[ x ] You like to eat or drink red things.
[ ] You're lustful/sexual.
[ ] When you're kissing someone, you tend to bite them.
[ x ] You're dark, mysterious, and seductive.
[ ] You've tasted your own blood before and liked it.
[ ] Being out in the sun too long makes you feel weak.
[ ] You're graceful, lithe, and can appear threatening or dangerous to others.
[ x ] You have incredible charm and can get people to do nearly anything.
[ x ] You're more active at night.

Total: 5

~WEREWOLF~

[ ] You have a bad temper.
[ ] You're incredibly physically strong and fast.
[ x ] You love the moon.
[ x ] You're very loyal
[ x ] If you love someone, you'll do whatever you possibly can to protect them.
[ ] You would go on a devastated rampage should your lover be harmed in any way.
[ x ] You like dogs.
[ ] You're fairly sturdy in stature.
[ x ] You're either a good leader or a solitary person.
[ ] You have a hard time controlling yourself half of the time.

Total: 5

~NEKO(half-cat)/WERECAT~

[ ] You love cats.
[ ] You're lithe and agile.
[ ] You could fall off of anything and always land on your feet.
[ ] You like gymnastics.
[ x ] You love to eat seafood.
[ x ] You're affectionate and cozy.
[ x ] If someone is able to sneak up on you and startle you, you nearly leap out of your skin or swat at them.
[ ] You like yarn.
[ ] You like chasing things.
[ ] You're an excellent hunter.

Total: 3

~ZOMBIE~

[ x ] You're an outcast.
[ ] You feel as if you're not truly alive.
[ ] You'll moan when you're hurt rather than scream and cry.
[ x ] You tend to zone out.
[ ] You don't feel very smart.
[ ] You like worms.
[ x ] You like taking things slowly.
[ ] You like odd foods.
[ x ] You prefer to suffer in silence.

[ ] You don't get much sleep.

Total:4

~GHOST/PHANTOM~

[ ] You're invisible.
[ ] You have an oddly eerie presence.
[ ] You can send chills down a person's spine just by looking at them.
[ ] You have messy hair that is partially/completely in your face.
[ x ] You're incredibly gentle.
[ x ] You're very shy around someone you find attractive.
[ x ] You tend to simply disappear when no one's looking.
[ ] You enjoy scaring people.
[ x ] You like the indoors.
[ x ] You are deeply connected to the ones you love no matter what happens.

Total: 5

~GHOUL~

[ ] You will eat just about anything.
[ ] You like to attack people verbally or physically.
[ ] You are thrilled if you can make someone bleed.
[ ] If you were with someone, you wouldn't care if you hurt them as long as you're getting what you want out of them.
[ ] You like stalking people.
[ ] You find it fun to crawl into tight, small, cramped, dirty spaces.
[ ] You get hungry easily.
[ ] You like torture.
[ ] You live to hurt people.
[ x ] You like the idea of being insane.

Total: 1

~WITCH~

[ ] You're into Wicca/paganism.
[ x ] You like magical objects.
[ x ] You believe in magic/can perform it.
[ ] You perform odd rituals on a daily basis.
[ ] People find you intolerably cruel.
[ ] You enjoy manipulating people.
[ ] You feel deeply in touch with nature and hate industrialization.
[ ] You love black cats.
[ ] You practice voodoo.
[ ] You tend to laugh hysterically while picking on someone you find attractive.

Total: 2

~SHAPESHIFTER~

[ x ] You have different personalities.
[ ] Your style could change from Goth to preppy in the same second.
[ x ] You're fickle.
[ ] You have more than one lover.
[ x ] You're unpredictable.
[ ] You would change yourself entirely to fit in/get a date.
[ x ] You are fond of many different things.
[ ] You can easily get out of trouble by changing your demeanor.
[ ] You often say one thing and mean another.
[ ] You like to leave your clothes on the floor after taking them off.

Total: 4


~DEMON~

[ ] You have a very bad temper.
[ ] You're usually angry.
[ ] You have to make other people miserable with every breath that you take.
[ ] You worship Satan.
[ ] You like pentagrams.
[ ] You love to mess with people's heads.
[ ] You could do just about anything bad to someone and feel proud.
[ ] You laugh when other people are hurt.
[ ] Physically harming someone turns you on.
[ ] You respond to an insult by viciously attacking the other person.

Total: 0

Vampire / Werewolf / Ghost / Phantom ...? Well then ... OK?

CherBear's Thoughts - Summer Solstice ~

A day before Summer Solstice ~ 

It's a bit weird to see how much the day changes; especially in the morning. One of the signs that well Summer is officially here in a little bit.

-----

I guess a little minor update:

Yes, I did go out with my local pals, had some korean bbq, had some delicious dessert & went to see Man of Steel. 

Before I go into Man of Steel - regardless of what people said; I sorta from being on a neutral standpoint about Superman - have a lil more of an appreciation for super hero itself. So as I was saying, I didn't mind the movie, but its something I wouldn't willingly go watch again. I did have fun with friends though either way.

I've seen what E3 has to offer in terms of gaming so for now I'll just be watching & admiring from afar. Am I planning to get anything? Not so much; well it'd help if I'd have money.

-----

Speaking of which; makes me wonder how I'll be handling Anime Expo & Comic Con. I learned AM2 is in August so I dunno if I'm even thinking that far ahead. Anime Expo - I plan to go 2 days & Comic Con I'll be there for all 4. So I am definitely looking forward to that.

I have to ask myself; why do I go to Anime Expo? Well as much as I adore the scene there - I've been going to the panels to further my artistic knowledge. Other than that - kinda this known knowledge of being a 'foody' the food truck scene in Los Angeles is awesome. So hopefully whichever food trucks show up this time around I'll scrounge up change to try something new & different.

Comic Con; I know I will be busy either way - with one thing or another but I'm pretty much set for the next 5 days. If my stress level isn't bad now; its gonna go through the roof as Comic Con approaches, mainly not only cuz I have things to do there; I have family & friends to host so my usual stress like self. 

-----

I look forward to the rest or in-between the summer to hang out with relatives, family & friends. After the graduation celebration; just more bonding with them before one goes off to college. Not to mention discuss some pressing issues that have happened during the spring. So yes, looking to as what my sis; PieBear- says this summer is filled with at least the following we hope to do before Fall ~

- Junk Food Party

- Beach Party / Bonfire Party

- Drinking Party

- Faire Food (hehe yum!)

---

In conclusion; my Summer looks pretty promising & busy as usual. I look forward to it.

Journal Meme 1 out of 1 - Stolen Meme

From Seoul-Mate @ deviantART -- 

1) Real name: Miss CherBear
2) Nickname: Cherry, Cher
3) Birthday: September 20th
4) Elementary school: Sure I went there.
5) Middle school: Is that in-between something?
6) High school: I'm scared of heights.
7) Hair color: Dark Brown/Black but I'll let you believe whichever.
8) Currently Happy or sad: I'm content.
9) leggings or jeans: Jeans.
10) Orange or apple: Orange.
11) Do you have a crush on someone: Those sound painful, who likes being crushed?
12) Eat or drink: Drink.
13) Piercings: Both ears pierced.
14) Pepsi or coke?: Pepsi.

Have you ever...
16) Been in an airplane?: Yep.
17) Been on a boat?: Yup.
18) Been in a relationship?: Uh huh.
19) Been in a car accident?: Sure.

Firsts and lasts
20) First piercing: Ears.
21) First best friend: Long time ago.
22) First award: That happened a long time ago too!
23) First crush: Still not liking this idea of being crushed or crushing someone.
24) First word: Can't recollect that sorry.
25) Last person you talked to in person: Cow.
26) Last person you texted: Milo.
27) Last friend you watched a movie with: Group of local friends for a day out sorta thing.
28) Last food you ate: Filipino Food.
29) Last movie you watched in theaters: Man of Steel..
30) Last song you listened to: N'Sync, This I Promise You
31) Last thing you bought: Food.
32) Last person you hugged: Appa, my 30" plushie...that counts right?

Favorites
33) Food?: Sushi, Crab, Lobster, Steak, sorry I can't pick just one.
34) Drink?: Toasted Marshmellow & Nutella milkshake.
35) Flower?: Morning Glory.
36) Animal?: Panda.
37) Color?: Sapphire Blue.
38) Place?: La Jolla Cliffs watching the sunset.
39) Movie: Wreck it Ralph (...for now?)
40) Subject?: Art

Have you ever ...
41) Fallin in love with someone?: Yes..
42) Celebrated halloween?: Uh huh.
43) Went over the minutes/texts on your phone?: Yep.
44) Wanted to smack someone?: Yep.
45) smoked and drunk alcohol?: Smoked, no, drank, yes.
46) Did something you regret?: Totally.
47) Broke a promise?: I probably have, hence I refrain from trying to make promises.
48) Hid a secret?: Uh huh.
49) Pretend to be happy?: Yep.

Your future...
50) Want kids? How many?: Yes, at least 3.
51) Want to get married?: Yes.
52) Are you single or taken?: Taken.

Which is better in the opposite gender?
53) Lips or eyes: Eyes.
54) Shorter or taller: Either.
55) Romantic or spontaneous: Either.
56) Hook up or relationship: Relationship.
57) Looks or personality: Personality.

Have you ever...
58) Lost glasses/contacts?: Yup.
59) Snuck out?: Uh huh.
60) Held a gun/knife for self defense?: Yes.
61) Broke someones heart?: Yep.
62) Been in love?: Mhm.
63) Cried when someone died?: Yessir.

Do you believe in;
64) Yourself: Sometimes.
65) Miracles: Sometimes.
66) Love at first sight: Hmm...
67) Heaven: A nice thought.
68) Santa: Rearrange the letters, I dare you.

Truthfully
69) Do You Like Some One Right Now?: Yeah.
70) Who your real friends are: We're all busy.

CherBear's Thoughts - A Time to Celebrate

Greetings & salutations, the beginning of the month went without a hitch. I honestly admit, I'm still a bit exhausted but overly content.

Why is that?

I made peace with a lot of conflicting issues outside of internet things I tend to roam around in.


Hopefully from this point on I'm starting to help not only myself to heal, but everyone else to heal too that are involved. It's been a long journey so far & I don't think we're done quite yet.


It doesn't change the stressors I do have, still looking for work but thankfully working on commissions. Unfortunately, I had decided to also participate on some contests not only on here but on some forum boards so its a pause on the commissions then the requests & finish up on the contests because they have deadlines. Silly things. 


Anyways, on top of that, I am happy to be apart of milestones in some relatives lives & realize to try & not take advantage of them. I've been saying my pleases & thank yous, reconnecting with folks & just feeling overly better with some points of views that left me in a dark place the past 6yrs or so. 


I guess specifically, just sayin', I was able to continue those moments of supporting relatives that do matter & celebrating their graduations & promotions - keeping that line of communication & reminding them when in doubt, they can always have an ear to talk to or a shoulder to lean on. 


So just openly expressing I'm not only trying to heal myself now but to be strong during some dark times with ongoing family stuff. 


I just have to remember not to let any of those conflicts, issues or anything I guess poisonous try to eat me alive again. That's the last time I'll let that happen cuz it left me scarred figuratively speaking. 


I know ...


It's a lot of what's going on personally then art wise but I have to make the exception of taking a break from the drawing board & take part of the graduation celebration & cheer on the next stage of what lives will take them. After all, its like I was their older cool sister ... hah ... I wish Dx;! Not to mention they were there when I celebrated mine.


Anyways, enough of that breaktime. I've said my congratulations over & over again. Now time to stop goofing off & finishing up those contests so I can clear up the rests of the commissions & requests you guys have been so patiently waiting over...well the nice ones who have been waiting patiently over & have been NICE about it. Go you, keep up the positive sweet attitude...you know who all are. Stay sweet & positive!

Journal Meme 2 out of 2 - Stolen Journal Meme

Taken from  Seoul-Mate @ deviantART --

Name ➔ CherBear
► Will you answer all questions truthfully ➔ No promises.
► Are you single ➔ No!
► Are you happy ➔ I am.
► Are you Italian ➔  Nope.
► Are you German ➔ No.
► Are you Asian ➔ Yes.
► Are you angry? ➔ No.
► Are you Irish ➔ No.

TEN FACTS
► Birth Place ➔ Manila, Philippines.
► Hair Color ➔ Dark brown, close to black.
► Eye Color ➔ Dark brown.
► Birthday ➔ September 20th.
► Mood ➔ Happy.
► Gender ➔ Female.
► Lefty or Righty ➔ Right.
► Summer or winter ➔ Winter.
► Morning or afternoon ➔ Afternoon.

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
► Are you in love ➔ Yes.
► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ No.
► Who ended your last relationship ➔ He did.
► Have you ever broken someone's heart ➔ Yes.
► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ Yes.
► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ Yes.
► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ In the past yes, in the present, probably.
► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ Yes.

TEN CHOICES
► Love or lust ➔ Love.
► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ Lemonade.
► Cats or Dogs ➔ Dogs.
► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ A few best friends.
► Pepsi or Coke ➔ Pepsi.
► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ Romantic night in.
► Day or night ➔ Night.
► IM or Phone ➔ Phone.

TEN HAVE YOU EVER
► Been caught sneaking out ➔ Nope.
► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ Yes.
► White water rafted ➔ No.
► Finished an entire jawbreaker ➔ Yes.
► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ No.
► Prank called a store ➔ No.
► Skipped school ➔ Yes.
► Wanted to disappear ➔ Yup.


TEN PREFERENCES
► Smile or eyes ➔ Eyes.
► Light or dark hair ➔ Dark hair.
► Fat or skinny ➔ No preference.
► Shorter or Taller ➔ No preference.
► Intelligence or Attraction ➔ Intelligence.
► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ Relationships.
► Funny and poor OR rich and serious ➔ Rich & serious.

ABOUT ME
► Last Phone Call ➔ Cousin.
► Last phone call you received ➔ Cousin.
► Last person you hung out with ➔ Cousins.
► Last thing you ate ➔ Lechon.
► Last thing you drank ➔ Melted Milkshake.
► Last site you went to ➔ Google?
► Last place you were ➔ Relative's house.

RELATIONSHIPS
► Are you in a committed relationship ➔ Yes.
► When was your last relationship ➔ 5 years ago.
► Do you still love them ➔ Yes.

FAMILY
► Do you and your family get along  ➔ Yes & No.
► Would you say you have a "messed up life" ➔ I can complain or claim I do, but I also realistically know there is someone, somewhere that has it a lot worse than me.
► Have you ever run away from home ➔ No.
► Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ No.
► If so, how long ➔ N/A

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ No.
► Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ No.
► Who are/is your best friend(s)  ➔ I consider some relatives like my best friends, bunch of local friends & a few online friends.
► Who knows everything about you ➔ No one, I think the only one who truly knows is myself.

Journal Meme 1 out of 2 - Tag whut?

From AdmiralMaggot @ deviantART --

[RULES]
Uh well I took this from the person stated above so I'll answer the following questions.

[QUESTIONS]
1-Favorite colour? : Sapphire blue
2-Dogs or cats? : Dogs > Cats, preferably both.
3-Favorite vocaloid song? : Eh, I have no preference.

Enjoy!