Tormented Dreamer

As I can re-call, I have mentioned I barely dream only because I think I'm afraid to...

... Sometimes I really wish I can't dream at all ...

Waking up from my recent dream, it felt a bit too real that I found myself waking up in tears.

The scene sets up where I find myself at a lunch date w/ someone familiar in a suit, afterwards we went back to my place...we cuddled...talked...I confessed and the other person knew all this time. A hummingbird came by & it was particularly fond of this other person...but I didn't mind. After all, I found that being able to hold something that small & fragile is rather fortunate & reluctant. After spending time, I got up & got ready...in the bathroom for some odd reason there was blood...everywhere...I didn't panic...I only started to clean up. Next thing I know close family come by, some who have even passed away within my lifetime. My grandfather & grandmother...rest their souls...comes to me & tells me that something had happen to my mom, she was apart of some bad incident & apparently passed away. Shocked, upset & full of regret, I had started wandering around...looking about it looks like the old neighborhood I use to live in...I was in tears...I was crying...I was mourning all over again...by the time I got back...me & a few other people were about to get ready to go see the place where my mom was staying & as I was about to leave, my two other relatives expressed their condolences...their parents on the other hand were snide...mean...almost cruel like...that it became to a point where it was too unbearable...

I dunno, I'm starting to wonder if I really have moved on from this point in my life. I knew before of someone who hadn't gotten over the passing of their mother and it was coming on 8-9 years at the time I spoke to them. I believe I'm coming on 3yrs for me w/ my own tragedy...I dunno to be honest anymore...I've lost track of time but I'm sure...sorta.

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I'm always someone who has to keep my mind busy before I feel like I fall completely into insanity...hence why I guess I've gotten completely back into playing pokemon. Another backtrack to chasing 493 for any who are interested. Status: Seen - 355/493 | Obtain - 221/493.